Where Are We Now: Six Months In

          Greetings on this lovely Thanksgiving night! Hope your day has been full of delicious food surrounded by loving family members threatening you over who gets the last piece of pie! Folks in the South are serious about their pie, and sweet tea.  Roll Tide.

          I felt compelled to catch up on my blog tonight- it was either do this or face the Black Friday crowds ready to receive a holiday greeting to the face battling over a waffle maker- you can see which path I chose to take. So much has happened in the last six months which allows me to give ample amounts of thanks on this day! First, lets begin with my job!

          Over the course of the last six months or so I have gained much knowledge regarding Emergency Nursing! I am far from where I would like to be knowledge and education wise, but wow, I literally learn something new EVERYDAY! I am so blessed to work with the people I am surrounded by. From the techs to the MDs, everyone has been nice and always willing to lend a hand or explain something; for these things make me proud to say I work at UAB. The term "team" is truly exemplified in my department. I have never seen a group of employees so willing to help their fellow coworkers. I finally finished orientation in September and I am grateful for the many teachers I had. I've learned that perfecting skills and mastering the art of charting comes in time, but wow, one must be willing to be humble, patient and learn, learn, learn as much as you can! It has been so enlightening over these past few months to sit and discuss treatment plans and the "hows" and "whys" of certain things we do with experienced nurses; they have much to share! I hope to one day be someone a young nurse looks to for advice.

          I am proud to say that within the last couple of months of being off orientation I have gained a new formed thought process that "plans ahead" if you will. I find myself planning ahead for certain orders that may be given and preparing myself. I am always happy to see myself ahead of the game when it comes to my patient's care plan. Little things like this help boost any new nurse's confidence. Recently I experienced my first night in Trauma since being off orientation. IT WAS GREAT. I worked along side a great co-worker which made the experience even better. Sometimes stepping back and realizing how far I've come is slightly amazing and HUMBLING to me and makes me grateful for everything I've gone through in life which has brought me to where I am today. Times like this I know my mother would be proud. Since becoming a nurse my mother has been heavy on my heart. Following in her footsteps was much more difficult than I imagined, but her strong-willed personality and determination runs deep within me. Carrying on her legacy is an honor.

         Outside of work I have found that sleep is amazing! Working night-shift truly takes a toll on one's body, social life and relationships! It has been the hardest transition yet since nursing school. I find myself eating "dinner" at 2AM while at work when the rest of the world is fast asleep or sitting in our ER. I will admit, self control from snaking on junk is TOUGH, especially early in the morning when you're craving chocolate for an energy burst. However, I've recently started staying awake as long as I can during my off-days to correct my sleep cycle. I have yet to determine if that causes more exhaustion. I want to join a gym soon; seeing so many sick patients is a daily reminder to stay fit, eat healthy and have health insurance if possible. I've recently taken up an obsession with crafting! PINTEREST IS ADDICTING. I will admit though, I have saved so much money on decor by making my own after being glued to Pinterest for three hours straight. I've discovered on my off days I desire to be outdoors. Taking my sweet chocolate lab, Dixie, for walks is so relaxing. Also, being able to see my nieces without worrying about studying for a test is nice as well. Since graduation, life has become so much sweeter!
 

Dixie checking out the new craft with Christmas lights!

Walks with the pup are the best!

              So, I'm looking to the future! I have many goals to achieve and the first.....paying back COLLEGE LOANS. Dear Lord. Loans suck, but having a career is nice so I will just stop complaining. I want a new car, need a new phone, but after being out in the real world I have discovered that many so called "needs" are in fact wants. Being in debt from school loans isn't great, but being able to pay bills, put gas in my car to go to my dream job and put food in my belly seems pretty great to me so far. I'm learning to be more thankful for the little, yet practical things in life. I want to do something crazy as well, GO BACK TO SCHOOL....who does that?! I have known for some time now that going back to school is what is best for me. Learning is wonderful, advancing a career is great and doing what you love is amazing. Being a CRNP would be an amazing goal to reach and something to be proud of. I am looking to start back school within the next two years. Also, I believe having the skills as an RN needs to be stretched. I am looking to volunteer for the ARC and hopefully work at a clinic for under served communities as well. Dreams, dreams, dreams, they are beautiful.

         

Birthdays are precious. Grateful for these babies!

            Also, one individual I've been grateful for is my sweet guy, Tucker. He truly has brought me back to my Southern roots. A girl who lost her country vive many years ago has been reconnected, sort of. Though I do not wear camo or record Duck Dynasty I will occasionally drop a few lines of a Garth Brooks classic or choose sweet tea over water. Surprisingly enough, I've even dragged myself out of bed at 5AM to go on early morning fishing adventures with him. I feel no need to impress, but he recognizes the little things. He is a strong worker, at work and at home. He builds things and can fix pretty much anything. I love his ability to improvise and "just make things work". His willingness to help and carry his share of the load is recognized. He loves sweets and that is music to my soul! I also am thankful that he loves me for me and I can be nothing more than just myself when I'm with him. I love his willingness to try new things and not be afraid to speak his mind. He is a daily example and reminder to me to stay true to thine own self. I guess I'm simply thankful for Tucker bringing me back to me.

Yay for freezing cold fishing adventures!

                                                                                   

Tucker with my youngest niece, Emma Kate

           Well, making all things full-circle, I guess I have many things to be thankful for. Even in stressful times I should see the beauty in what has been given to me. God Bless!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving 2013! Love my people.

 

 

My family. :)

"Knowledge that will change your world." -UAB

   It's been some time since my last blog and much has changed. Life has been a roller coaster, so full of unexpected emotions: joy, sadness, contentment and hope. After returning to school in January I was care-free. I had accomplished a passing status from the hardest semester prior to my holiday break. I had pushed myself to the breaking point and I somehow survived exams, NOTHING could bring me down. My LAST semester of nursing school and college all together was going to be a breeze. Yes, I still had projects due and a couple of simple tests here and there, but nothing like the former semesters. This semester was a transitional period from student to professional nurse. I enjoyed the freedom it gave me and the stress-free environment I finally found myself within. I wasn't worried about clinicals or cramming for tests, it was truly all downhill from there! The days passed quickly and I was preparing for the big move home for my preceptorship at UAB! I had waited so long for this. I remembered at a much younger age that I had dreamed of working at such an institution that could offer so much for its patients; I couldn't get home soon enough. I packed for days; I truly had no idea of the amount of crap I possessed; it was definitely annoying having to shove things I had never used into garbage bags because I had run out of my travel bags!
        
         Finally, moving day had arrived and I was homeward bound! It was hard leaving my nursing family behind for the next couple of months, but I knew good things were to come! I was excited for this experience, yet so NERVOUS! I had no idea of what was ahead of me. My first week on my designated unit was difficult. From adjusting my sleep cycle for night shift to learning how to put all my knowledge into practice was definitely stressful. The weeks few by and I could see myself growing more confident! I loved working only three to four days a week and having loads of free time to see friends, finish schoolwork and SLEEP! I loved this new chapter in my life. During all of this, I had a job interview lined up! I had applied for an opening in UAB's ER. I thrived off of the thought of a fast-pace environment and I knew that was where I was suppose to be! My interview went well and I waited; I waited over a week and finally heard a response on April 1st! I GOT MY DREAM JOB! I was in amazement of how things were lining up! Preceptorship was finally coming to an end and I could honestly say I learned much more than I had expected. I truly believe the autonomous atmosphere of night-shift prepared me for the job I have now. 

My preceptor and I at UAB. 

         Moving back to Montgomery was not easy; I had loved being home, it just felt right, but I knew my last month at school would fly by. I presented my final projects, took my last tests and realized the light at the end of the tunnel was now reached. During the afternoons I had ample amounts of free time so I ran. I ran to reflect on what the last five years of college had molded me into. I thought of what my life would have been like if I had stayed at Bama and continued my Pre-Med route or if I had gotten into Auburn from the beginning. So many emotions filled me as I ran those countless evenings. I finally came to the realization that I was where I was suppose to be, that all the chapters opened and closed during college were for a reason and I might not ever know why I experienced them to begin with. I simply had one thing to look to and that was my future outside of Montgomery. 

My nursing family at our Pinning Ceremony the night before graduation!

         Graduation day had FINALLY arrived! Five long years later and I was walking across the stage an accomplished young woman with a promising career ahead of me. Some of the most important people in my life were present that day and I finally felt my life beginning. It was all surreal. I looked to my nursing family and I could only smile, we had finally made it. Through all the ups and downs, the endless emotions and struggles, we had finally proved ourselves to the world around us. I would say we were all in a state of euphoria at that day. I think of those loved ones who were unable to be present and I know they would have been proud; I believed I represented the family well and upheld the strong, independent nature of the women in my family. I remained in Montgomery that night to congregate with some of my classmates for one of our last hoorahs; it was bittersweet for sure. The following day had arrived too soon and my last move home was now here. I packed my remaining things, said some of the hardest goodbye's and headed North. I had finally closed another chapter in my life. I was sad, yet happy of what was to come. Life was changing quickly and I was simply along for the ride!

Tucker and I.

One of my biggest supporters! 

                          

My Montgomery family.
    


Pops and my bro!

       Now, almost two months post-graduation I am a licensed nurse at UAB currently going through my twelve week orientation in the ER. I studied for about two weeks straight for my boards exam which I thought I FAILED. I can honestly say now that I've NEVER taken such an examination in which I thought I knew nothing. NCLEX was insane. I was preparing myself to not see name on the Board's website. The next morning the Heaven's opened, I PASSED! All my five years of hard work had paid off. I laid in bed in slight shock, I couldn't believe it was all over. I celebrated with lunch and shopping for scrubs with a great friend. The following Monday I started orientation. Hello, real world!

From classmates to co-workers! 

              I take my work days day-by-day with patience and eagerness to learn. There is so much to know and I'm grateful for the helpful staff I work with. For my now active social life since before nursing school, I have spent many hours catching up with friends, making new ones and creating memories to happily look back on. I also have a new love in my life and I look forward to the many days ahead for the both of us!

The End Is Near!

      Merry Christmas, all! I randomly stumbled upon my old blog and re-read some of my older posts. It is SO FUNNY to look back and realize that I honestly had no idea the life I was going to live out while in nursing school. I can proudly say that I made it through some of the toughest curriculum I have ever faced in my life. I, along with my classmates and now friends, have dealt with our fair share of stress and laughter throughout these last four semesters. However, I believe I can speak for most of us and say this last semester was pretty much HELL. I continuously described it as the "gatekeeper" class before going onto preceptorship this coming Spring and I still say that to this day. Now, to shortly re-cap nursing school!

*ADVICE: Don't go to nursing school if you are not ready to fully, if not 90%, devote yourself to it, end of story.

First nursing picture. What a BABY!

      Alright, first semester was truly the transitional stage. I practically had to adjust my way of thinking, literally. Nursing school teaches facts and assessment, you have to learn how to critically think yourself, which sucks. I still remember my first day of clinicals and my sweet partner and dear friend, Caitlin. We spent hours in our patient's room doing what we can do now in 10 mins tops! HAHA! We have grown so much. Our patient was super great though, I couldn't have asked for a better one to start off my clinical experiences. I had an awesome clinical group as well, we all got along very well. The actual class' themselves weren't too bad, but as I look back each semester had one "hard" class. I would say, hands down, Assessments was the toughest class my first semester. It involved a great deal of critical thinking and application which gets a lot people in trouble because we are all so conditioned to simple memorization and regurgitation of the information.

First clinical group! Seriously hated those white uniforms.

 My other two classes were Patho and Concepts which basically taught one to "have a heart" for patients. I enjoyed both classes and they have carried me far. Another awesome fact about first semester is that you are subjected to "lab". Yes, lab, where we basically were taught all our skills. Lab scared me worse than taking actual tests, simply because each week we were given a timed calculations quiz. If anyone knows me then you know I HATE math. Needless to say, I passed, but I stressed. Along the lines of calculation quizzes we were introduced to "calculations tests" and "ATI", both sucked. Basically, you have to pass the calculations test with a 100% in order to start clinicals and you are only given X amount of times to take it. ATI, dear Lord........I hated that, too. Each semester we have to take a final ATI exam based off the classes we took and with the program being so difficult mostly all of us fail. We basically walk into those tests every semester knowing if we get above a 60% we did something right. As you can see, first semester was all about trying to stay afloat, balancing personal life and school and simply passing in the end. It helped a lot to gain the friendships I did then. I joined a study group which really helped when it came to needing support and understanding of the literal hell we were all going through. I loved my new friends and were truly grateful for them. I owe them everything.

The crew. LOVE these people!

     Second semester came quickly and I was starting fresh. I had made it to my second semester of nursing school and I was looking towards the future with hope. My class began to form closer bonds and stronger friendships were being made. Now, our class had advanced from the 1st floor to the 3rd. For some odd reason I felt this to be of some achievement, but soon after realizing how terrible the chairs were I wished for the 1st floor once more! This particular semester I was set to take Acute, Pharm and EBP(basically a research class). I was READY! As the semester progressed we took our usual calculations exam(BLAH) and adventured back into the hospitals for more clinicals. Once again I had a GREAT clinical group with an awesome instructor. This semester pushed for much more knowledge pertaining to drugs, administration and of course, autonomy. *FACT: working IV Pumps is scary when you first start, just saying. Also, another random fact: entering a patient's room for the first time on the shift is a little intimidating; first impressions are HUGE. As for the actual classes, Acute(Med-Surg) was this semester's tough course. It was basically an accumulation of issues and disorders across the lifespan. Pharm was interesting, but having a friend who understands it a lot better than you do is pretty helpful, too. EBP was cool if you like writing papers and doing research...overall, I passed. BOOM. At the end of the semester the senior graduating class presented their preceptorship presentations and how inspiring it was to sit and listen to those that were once in my place. I knew if they could do it, so could I .

One of our many end-of-the-semester dinners!

      SUMMER!!! Not really. AUM actually goes year-round, which I like. The thought of getting something done sooner is just more appealing. The summer went by SUPER FAST! This semester was focused on OB and Community Health. OH MY GOD THIS SEMESTER WAS STRESSFUL. No, it had NOTHING to do with the material or tests, but EVERYTHING to do with BUSY WORK. I am not a fan of busy work, I see no point in it; however, for one of my classes it was found necessary. I wanted to pull my hair out at times, yes, but I pressed onward. Clincals were VERY INTERESTING for OB and by interesting I mean I saw two live births. Yeah, its not for everyone, myself included. At this point I had had three semester's worth of clinicals and none of which interested me. I was seriously getting worried at this point.

Birthdays are the best. :)

I LOVED OB though, but I honestly believe it was the teacher, she was amazing. Very knowledgeable woman! Community on the other hand did not appeal much to me at all. I was actually really sick for about a week or so and missed three clinical days, two of which I really wanted to go, oh well. The thought of Community Health and reaching out to those in need and/or living on the streets in need of medical care really interests me, but unfortunately I didn't get much of that style of outreach. The one thing I hated about this semester were all the group projects we had! You could have been in up to four different groups doing polar opposite topics, so on and so on. IT WAS RIDICULOUS. I believe the main complaint was just that. Overall, I passed once again and a nice two week break stood between me and my last semester of nursing school before preceptorship!

     Fall was here and I was so ready! I felt good, but I was knew it was going to be a SERIOUS CHALLENGE! Our whole class had heard how difficult this class was and that it took serious critical thinking skills and application. We were advised to even get an NCLEX book to study to prepare for tests. This class was Acute's big brother called, CHRONIC...the thought of it still makes me want to get in the fetal position. So much hard work, drive and determination went into this class. *Random Fact: I cried for the first time in nursing school over this class. It was only for about a minute due to utter exhaustion towards the end of the semester, but hell, I got mad and did something about it, I studied! My only other class for the semester was Leadership. My teacher was AMAZING!! I LOVE HER.

Fourth semester: Professionalism Day. We look so...professional.

She is so real and so easy to talk to! She truly inspires me to continue my education. Clinicals were more in depth and interesting. I had a few critical care clincials in which I worked in ICU's and I must say, it was pretty neat. I felt all my skills coming together and assessments becoming more advanced. I was fully understanding the relation between labs and the patient's diagnosis and/or status. I was actually beginning to love nursing school. However, all this began to slow as tests were being taken and grades were being delivered. This class was becoming quite a SHOCK to us all. The main issue I felt was that we as a whole would study, study, study and for most of us it would not reflect in our test scores. This was something new to most of us. The uneasiness we all felt after tests was simply vomit worthy. I will honestly say that I have never felt such stress in my life. I was backed into a corner for our fourth and last test before our CUMULATIVE FINAL and I had to do well. I studied four weeks for a test that the majority of the class failed. I am still bitter. We were given only a WEEK to study for our final. We had issues about that along with others and unfortunately nothing was done. Exactly one week later and experiencing shakes, irregular heart beats and malnourishment due to the inability to eat real food I took that damn final. I honestly felt good about it afterwards. That night I received my grade knowing good and well some of my fellow classmates had not passed. It was so hard to look at my grade, but it had to be done. Knowing for the first time ever that I had to make a certain grade in order to pass I saw a better grade than what I originally needed. I cried. I cried from pure joy and utter exhaustion. I had pushed myself so hard that even the thought of eating was taking away time from studying. I pray to God I never have to do that again.

The night we found out we passed fourth semester!

     Here I am now, enjoying a stress-free Christmas. I look joyfully ahead towards this next semester and I hope for the best. I hope to work with a GREAT nurse, one that is patient and willing to teach me not only skills, but also show me by example what a nurse is suppose to represent. I am nervous, yes, but I believe that reminds me to stay humble and willing to learn. I am unsure of what the future holds, but I do know I will be preceptoring at UAB in downtown Birmingham. I am truly grateful for this opportunity and I am excited to be apart of such an institution!

       Now, onto the short, yet awesome, behind the scenes of nursing school! It is SO IMPORTANT to keep a social life during this time. They say to take time for yourself and friends and goodness it so true. I have gained such amazing friendships during nursing school! I have had the joy of becoming close to quite a few people and partaking in dinner parties, game nights, slumbers, end-of-the-semester parties, movie nights, experiencing Montgomery's night life, baseball games downtown, intramurals, and so much more! I've even been blessed enough to have met someone is school that has truly changed my life forever. We have been together for almost eleven months now and it has been a blast! We share our nursing school experiences together and so much more; he is simply God-sent. I look back at how our relationship started and it is all so funny. Something I never saw happening did in fact happen and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Jake is one amazing guy.

We got SO MUCH free Chick-fil-la!

DINNER AND GAME NIGHTS!

New man. Hiking in Birmingham.

Intramurals! I had a blast getting back to my old volleyball roots!

Surprise beach trip from the boo. Sunburns suck!

       All in all, I think I can say nursing school has changed me for the better and I am taking away a lot more than what I ever imagined doing so. Roll Tide and go Warhawks!
    

Nursing School: Week One- CHECK!

           Greetings from Montgomery! Today marks the last day of my first week of nursing school at Auburn University of Montgomery. I bet you all are wondering how it went; well let me just tell you, it was OVERWHELMING. During the last three years of college I rarely remember being overwhelmed; stressed of course, but never did I feel like I was being sucked into an undertow without a life-jacket. This week was for sure humbling.
           Every Monday and Tuesday I am in class from 9AM-12PM, then 1PM to 3PM. On Thursdays I am in lab from 8AM-3PM. It does not seem like a lot of time is spent on school, but oh how that is far from the truth. After gathering all my assignments, assigned readings, test dates, validation schedules and clinical dates I FINALLY produced a master calender....it is so depressing! As of right now, I have yet to accomplish everything, reading wise, from this week.
           Today I had to sit through a professionalism conference from 9AM-12PM, those times are really getting to me, and was reversed on how to conduct myself in and out of school. A fashion show followed regarding how and how not to wear our uniforms and alternate wear. It was interesting. As I watched the Seniors perform I thought of how I could have been in their place. I am a Junior nursing student, but technically a Senior in college. So yes, I will be a fifth-year Senior, but wow, how I have learned SO MUCH these past three years.
            I do not know what to expect over the next five semesters; however, I do know it will fly by. As of right now I look at my planner and CRINGE I tell you! Can someone please come and do all my readings for me and then someone transfer that information into my brain, if so, I pay good. Another useless fact, this week I had my first pop quiz, I failed. Yes, Emily Gill failed a test. In nursing school, the lowest passing grade one can receive is a 73, so technically I failed with a 68%. Anyways, I have moved on. I understood my mistakes and that I was not prepared for that particular information.
          OH YEAH! I was assigned my lab partner and my clinical site! My lab partner could not be any cooler! She is so funny and I believe we will get along great this semester! Ironically, her name is also Emily, WHOOP! My clinical site is awesome; it is literally 3 minutes from my residence! However, I always told myself, "I don't want to work with babies, nor do I want to work with prego women or their crazy hormones." Well, what goes around comes around I say, my clinical site is on a women's services floor at a local hosiptal specicalizing in Labor and Delivery....yep. Funny how things workout like that, huh?
           Well, like any other challenge in my life I am going to approach this just the same, or maybe differently; I wont know until after I take all my first tests, then I might need some readjusting! I will try and keep this 'ole blog of mine updated as much as possible, but who knows, my next post might be graduation day. :)
           Random fact: AUM changed their mascot to something understandable, THE WARHAWKS! So, go Warhawks and Roll Tide Roll!!

           

205 to 334!

              Hello! I come to you all with great peace and assurance! As of late May, Montgomery- better known as "the Gump"- became my new home for the next two years! I was stuck between starting classes at AUM this summer and still waiting to hear back from UAB for the Fall. I was in one of my nursing classes at AUM when I received a phone call from UAB. After listening to the message, I realized it was someone from the nursing admissions office. I had been in school at AUM for a little over two weeks and I had already fallen in love. It is crazy how God puts everything together so beautifully! I loved how close I was to school, I loved my living arrangments, I loved not having to walk a mile to get to class...I just loved EVERYTHING! I contemplated returning the phone call, but after serious consideration, I did not. Still to this day I am not sure what the reasoning was behind the missed call. What if I could have gotten in, but the school needed something more? What did they want, to tell me to come in for a special meeting? Who knows. I weighed the pros and cons and I must say, I believe I made an excellent choice. Yes, I do miss my sweet city of Birmingham, and the wonderful people I left behind, but I needed this change.
          I am truly excited about these next couple of years and the people I am going to become good friends with. I know much growth will take place as well. As for right now, I stay very busy! I am writing papers in my sleep, reviewing articles every other day, reading masses of material and doing tons of medical calculations. As crazy as it seems, I love it all. I am finally beginning to feel more knowledgeable  and confident about myself being able to stand the pressure of nursing school.
          However, I still think back and laugh at the fact that I applied to the Auburn school system so many years ago and ended up at Alabama. It's so crazy how everything works out in the end. I never pictured myself here in Montgomery. Honestly, I never knew AUM existed until it was suggested to me over a year ago. I am so grateful to have been accepted though. I love my nursing class so far, everyone seems to be able to offer something different to the learning experience. As of right now, I wait. I wait until Fall begins and the real test sets in. Pray with me as I begin this new, strenuous journey. Roll Tide and Go Senators!!

Ready, Set........Wait.

           Tonight marks the last night in my sweet Birmingham as a permanent resident. After twenty years, I must move onto bigger adventures, adventures that I am not willing to accept. As of right now I have yet to hear back from UAB, which has forced me to accept AUM's invitation and to begin this summer to secure my spot this Fall. Lots of other factors are involved with this but it is just confusing so I will just end at that. As I look around my room I see boxes, packed bags and random items that have yet to be packed. I do not have a willing heart to make this move.
           I LOVE MY CITY. I LOVE MY CHURCH. I LOVE MY CHURCH FAMILY. I LOVED MY JOB. I LOVE MY FAMILY. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. I loved my life up until last Friday when I had to quit the best job I ever had. I met so many people at my work and I am heart-broken knowing I probably won't see many of them nor the kids anymore! I am desperately trying to see the good in this move but I only see the bad. However, AUM, hands down, has some of the NICEST staff members I have ever come in-contact with! Also, I would be close to Jamie's family, which is awesome since I never got to see them much anyways! I would meet new people that obviously have the same goals as I do so that would be nice, too!
            However, today at Christ City Church, at our new location in Southside/Birmingham, I was walking out of church with a good friend of mine and we were confronted by a homeless man. Funny, but I was not scared, I had an open heart to this man. I loved the man for his desire to reach out to strangers for spare change for hygiene products and something to drink. His name was Cedric and I believe God used me through our few minutes together to share His love. I hope Cedric is at CCC next week, I want to worship with him, I want to worship with a congregation that will reflect what worship will be like in Heaven. Today, that specific event made me want Birmingham more than ever. Like I said, I love our city.
           As of now, I wait on God's answer. I wait to hear from God and what He wants for my future. He knows the desire of my heart and I hope He grants it. Please, fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, pray for me during this next week, it is a crucial time for me. Amen.

Only In My Memory

      A day I was thankful for is now the day I hold dear to my heart. Since the devastation in Tuscaloosa I have wished that I was not at work but there, experiencing it all with my fellow classmates and community to then be able to help with the aftermath. The images of my poor college town break my heart. I wish I understood God's reasoning but right now, I am just thankful I am alive. I am burdened with the fact that what is left lies amongst the rubble of what is not. I see images of destroyed neighborhoods that I drove through everyday to get to campus and it sets in a mild form of depression that I can not explain. The town I remember only lives in my memory. I wish I could relax and know my friends are okay but I can't. The death toll rises and I have yet to hear from some. I have been stuck at home for days, without power, trying to find things to do to get my mind off of what has happened. Yesterday, I became so desperate that I actually washed my clothes by hand in a huge tupperware container just to find some comfort in keeping busy. I also washed mine and my dad's cars, it took forever after I decided to scrub the carpets as well. With the complete silence in my home I have had enough time to just listen. Through the noise of my neighbor's generators I have found comfort in my standing home and the clean water running from the sinks and showers. I have found comfort in God's plan for my life and His grace to keep me safe. During these past few days I have had a lot of time to think about the recent events and the death brought about. I must say, my driving passion for the medical field has never been so strong. I have felt so useless that washing my own clothes made me feel like I was actually doing some good. I wish I could do more for my community.

            Through this trying time, not only was one huge community destroyed but another as well. A town just minutes North from my home was ravaged. To those in the Pleasant Grove community, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could honestly reverse what has happened. To those who have lost a loved one, my prayers are for you all tonight. My deepest sympathy.

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
 For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City