One word describes my night, blessed. My Bible study group met for the second time tonight and I always expect something amazing to happen. Whether it be a movement I felt throughout the night from God, reassuring me that I am His daughter and I am loved or the simple fact that I am in the presence of fellow believers, worshiping freely in someone's home without the worry of being persecuted. Tonight's main focus was on how we view ourselves, negatively and positively. Of course there were times when everyone in the room stated what they saw as good and bad about themselves and I will be honest, I am guilty of seeing far more bad than good. WHY? We as humans living in a world that focuses on outer beauty forget that even though a person maybe considered 'beautiful' their personality and heart may be far from good. It is sad but we focus too much on what the world sees as beautiful instead of what God sees as beautiful and just. If all in this world is going perish one day, except for the Truth, then why are we allowing false ideals, such as the worldly standard of beauty, control our lives? Like I said, I AM SO GUILTY! Questions from tonight:
1. What are some traits you see to be ugly about yourself?
Of course I was tense when the group was asked this question but I knew exactly what I felt to be ugly about me. 'My teeth and my weight...' Yep, those are my main issues. Also, I didn't say this but the thought of failing in life, whether it be in school or at a job, really bothers me. I will study for hours just because I am fearful that my brain will somehow quit on me or something...
2. What are some traits you see to be beautiful about yourself?
This one was easy for me, sort of. I didn't even think about any physical traits (and all that goes back to the self-esteem issue we talked about tonight as well) but the one thing that came to mind automatically was my drive; my enormous compassion and love for the forgotten, the lost, the abandoned, the orphaned, my heart longs to see those long for Him.
A few versus discussed tonight were as followed:
-Isaiah 43:4
-Deuteronomy 32:10
-Colossians 1:12
-Romans 8:37
Lord, forgive me for hating me sometimes. Forgive me for not appreciating your work of art in me. Forgive me for worrying too much about what the world thinks and not about what you think. Forgive me for being sinful. Thank you for grace. Thank you for your love and acceptance of my stains. I love you. Amen.
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