Thick Skin Wanted

            I am burdened. Burdened with a desire to help those in need before myself. To set aside all emotions and focus on the reality of life or death situations. The amount of stability one needs to do so is almost unimaginable. I have seen the inside of an E.R., been up close and personal with gaping wounds, and seen the pain upon the faces of those reaching out to me for help. What have I gotten myself into? Am I fit to be a health care provider? Can I with stand the hours of strenuous work and the sight of death more than any average person would see in a year? Maybe, possibly, I pray.

            I have recently had the opportunity to shadow a wonderful nurse-who also happens to be one of my best friend's mothers that I absolutely love- and from the little time that I was present I saw what a real nurse is supposed to look like. COMPASSIONATE is a perfect description of her. She truly cares for her patients and I saw that right from the start! I am so grateful to have had this experience. I learned a lot, especially about understanding the reality that things don't always go the way they should, but we as medical professions can do our best and try. I love where God is leading me in life. Working with a purpose to serve others in need is a constant reminder to stay grateful and continue to pray with humility.

             Nursing school update: I should be hearing back from AUM and possibly Troy in April. Alabama, and UAB around May, hopefully. :)

Our God is Healer.

     The words I wish to use I won't, I just cannot seem to find them.

     Two days ago I found myself speechless. Rarely am I literally speechless. I was sitting in my car, on my way to school, thinking. Thinking...an act done without words but yet so powerful. I was reflecting on the words I had been exposed to hours previously. A great man, who I consider to be another father, had been prepared for surgery to remove his re-occurring Cancer, was closed up without surgery because the Cancer had spread too much.
     
      My God is Healer. My God is Provider. My God is Comfort. My God is Giver of Life. My God is...

      My God is the One who one heals, yet the same who takes life. He determines all, not tests, scans, or even the opinions of the greatest doctors to ever live. However, he does give those men and women the knowledge to give the best care possible.

      I believe all are stuck at this moment. Waiting for an answer, looking for a sign, and hoping all turns out well. I pray for healing. I pray for strength. I pray for wisdom. I pray for one of the greatest men I have ever known to say 'I am healed'. I pray for a ending much different than most.

      Healer, show favor on Bro. Paul. Heal him physically, eradicate the Cancer from every single cell in his body. Remove the pain, remove the suffering, remove this burden from his weakened body. Heal this family who I call my own as well. Heal my family, Lord. Restore health and good news. You are the Bringer of good news, I pray so selfishly for it. Heal my own life as well, Lord, heal my wounds. Heal the drained emotions of those around looking for answers. Provide an answer, oh God, please. In all His most glorious name, Amen. 

     


    

Worry-Wart

        Tonight, I find myself sitting at a friend's apartment here in Tuscaloosa due to the fact that I have two HUGE tests tomorrow and the threat of driving in ice-infested roads tomorrow morning coming from Birmingham. In saying that, I will add this, Global Warming does not exist. I have researched this topic and it has been slowly dis-proven since Al Gore pitched his advocacy for it years ago. Now, moving forward.
        I am such a worrying type of person. On the outside, I can hold things together so well, but on the inside I worry all the time about school and nothing else in comparison. I fear failure. I fear the thought of not getting into nursing school and having to change my major to something like Art....which I like though and I even considered it a year ago, but I have just worked so hard towards this personal goal.
        Like I said, I have two tests in my hardest classes....Chemistry and Math, which I should be studying for but you know, talking about it is just so much easier than actually doing it. Seriously, Math is SO LAME. I understand the basic need for math but I will not need to know the relative max of a graph in Nursing. Now Chemistry on the other hand is a different story, it actually can be applied but it is just so hard....but exciting! I love my professor but sometimes I feel just so incompetent.
        As of today I am still waiting. For all of you that have been keeping up with my road to nursing school nothing much has changed. I am awaiting a confirmation letter from Alabama, meeting this Friday with UAB to discuss my current status with applying and last BUT NOT LEAST, I am waiting to receive an email from AUM in regards to my acceptance to the next level of admittance(which basically means I have to go in for an interview....oh joy!). I am still applying to Troy and JSU but I have yet to finish the paperwork.
       Yeah, so....as you can see I am pretty stressed right now so the natural human reaction would be to worry. However, the Bible calls us to not worry but to cast all our cares on Him, beautiful, isn't it? I will end with a Bible verse that I have used a lot lately, hope this helps you as well. God bless.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34

Being Ready

            As I am typing this I am sitting in Gorgas Library, freezing my buns off and pushing off Math and Chemistry homework, which both suck anyways. I have something on my mind. Life and all that it entails. More specifically, marriage. WHOA. I know, right, Emily Gill talking about marriage....CRAZY! Though not so much about me in particular but all those around me as well. When will we ever be ready, will we know? I have heard a lot here recently that no one will ever be ready for such a step in life. Yes, we can prepare financially, physically, spiritually but overall, the transition is HUGE. A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend a wonderful wedding; the venue was beautiful, the wedding ceremony itself was so lively and the bride was just stunning. So, as you can see, it has got me thinking, how do we simply prepare?

          Me being the person I am I have always thought that I needed to be out of college and working before I got married....hmmm, wonder where that ideal came from, dad? As time has progressed and I have come into contact with more couples and their life stories I have realized, no one story is the same, duh. So, the search for finding out when the perfect time to do such things, like getting married, is impossible. Why can't such decisions be easy and care-free? To all my fellow ladies out there, single or in a relationship, I give you this, patience. Patience for that right time if it does in fact exist. I also say this, do not settle. Do not settle for less that what you deserve.

         Now, for my personal thoughts. I think far too often people abuse the feeling of wanting to get married. I have seen dead-end relationships plenty of times and the topic of marriage always was present at some point. WHAT? People, do not date just to date! Do not treat your relationship like some measly friendship that you can peace out at anytime you want. If you do these things then how in the world could you be ready for a marriage? If we all continuously do such things then the world will be full of unhappy marriages, much like it is now. People, more so ladies, find someone good for you. Find a man, not a boy. Better yet, find a Godly man, who seeks after God's will and not his own. I can say that I am beyond blessed to have the man I have in my life and I had nothing to do with it. God knew exactly who and what we both needed and He provided. Amen.

         To sum this off-the-wall blog up I will say this, I might not be ready tonight for marriage but God knows the time and the place in which I will be prepared just enough to say 'I do'. Until that time, we all must be in God's Word, preparing ourselves individually for our future spouses, marriages, and families.

Love and Thankfuless

                Tonight, as I am preparing myself for church in the morning, I can't help but realize that tomorrow will be yet another day that I will be unable to see my sweet boyfriend. Our lives are so busy; mine with school and work and his with his job and traveling, we seem to always be rushing! However, when I think of these things in his absence I remind myself that distance truly does grow the heart fonder. I am a firmer believer in this old saying because when Jamie and I are with one another we are such kids; he really is like a best friend. I am honestly one of the most blessed women on this planet to have such a man like him. No, he might not be around 24/7 like most boyfriends, but when he is, its like he never left at all. So, in saying all of this I end with a thankful heart, a prayer for him, for us and for those around us, friends and families, thank you all for being in our lives. Jamie, I love you and I pray His will be done through the both of us, together.

              Lord, thank you for your love. Thank you for true love, through relationships with close friends, family and the relationship you have blessed to Jamie and I. Thank you for blessing me with him, how grateful I am. Thank you for your forgiveness and the forgiveness we give to one another through our relationships with people. Thank you for patience; I pray for more patience, Lord. Thank you for grace. Thank you for your unfailing mercy on us from day to day. Thank you for being perfect. Thank you. Amen.

Roll Tide to Spring 2011!

          Okay, to even begin to explain my overall excitement about this semester I must start off with a ROLL TIDE! RRROOOOOLLLLLL TTTTTIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEE!!!
          For starters, I do hate having to be up so early for a 9:30 class but may I say my Pysch. Dev. professor absolutely rocks....possibly, subject to change. I seriously laughed so hard at the comments she made about fellow friends and random stories she told pertaining to our lecture. Moving on now, oh yes, my commute from class to class.....SUCKS! I am truckin' it from one class to the next, but hey, at least I am burning some calories! Met my math prof. today as well....an absolute bore if I may add but I should have known, he is a freakin' math teacher, no offense to those who teach math, just he in particular is a boring individual. HOLY CRAP, MY POLITICS PROFESSOR IS GOD SENT. First and foremost, he looks like my former pastor, and he even talks like him as well. Super nice guy, two thumbs up! Want to know what I will be doing in that class....NOTHING! We have no exams, papers, in class assignments, homework....NOTHING. All we must do is come to class, participate in conversations, read and submit like a paragraph of opinionated work.....AMAZING! I love this man. Oh and then comes my Comp. Professor, he is AWESOME, no doubt! Honestly, to describe him and his personality the best example would be Ralphie May, the comedian, HILARIOUS! Last but not least, my sweet 'ole Chem. prof., Dr. Scheiner! This man is excellent; such an honor to be taught by such a knowledgeable man!
               Like I said in the beginning, all these things are subject to change.....however, I do believe my gut feeling is correct and that this semester is going to be awesome. Roll Tide, everyone!

War and Peace

            This past Sunday I had the opportunity to visit Church of the Highlands-Riverchase with a friend, which was a complete, unexpected blessing. However, I did in fact miss my church family back at Christ City Church VERY MUCH! See you all soon, promise! I must say, the idea of watching your pastor via satellite is weird but honestly, I felt like Pastor Chris was right there in the same sanctuary as I. The worship was great but I missed my good 'ole Fools. :) Anyways, onto why I feel pressed to write this blog; the message was God sent, exactly what I needed to hear that day and I am thankful to have been present.
            The sermon covered many books of the Bible; such as, Luke, John, James, Matthew... and as you can see from the title, the message was part of a series and this particular sermon was called, 'War and Peace'.
            Pastor Chris emphasized one verse before he gave us five points that results in 'war' between individuals and even nations.'Too long have I lived among those who hate peace. I am a man of peace; but when I speak, they are for war.' Psalms 120:6-7.
            1. Distance. Individuals who distance themselves, whether due to certain differences or opinions begin to put up walls.
            2. Walls. After walls are put up you continue to be distanced from that certain person or group of people that you refuse to be associated or 'reconciled' with.
            3. Escalation. Escalation arises after the walls have been established and when that certain 'small' incidence becomes something 'BIG' in your mind.
            4. False Beliefs. After you remain distant without any form of reconciliation you begin to think of the 'BIG' issues which causes you to have false beliefs which causes the individual to become more emotionally and even physically distant from their problem person.
            5. Hostility. Last but not least, hostility. I believed this was an outward emotion that was to be explained but it was presented as something very different. Pastor Chris described it is the condition of your soul at this point in reaching the state of 'War'. I can see that if an individual hoards these kinds of emotions due to another individual who 'are for war'(stated above in Psalms), circumstance or even on a larger scale, another nation, that one would be in a state of hostility.
            6. War. When there is war, there is evident separation. Before we go to God, settling in Him, we must go to others and settle our differences with them, bringing our 'balance back to zero'.
             As you can see, this sermon was interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the details of every point Pastor Chris presented. At the end of the service these verses were read, 'But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.James 3:14-16.
             My final thoughts and feelings on the sermon was that I felt God's reassurance for me and my life that some people exist in your life to bring you hate and cause war. No matter how much you try to move on, live life without them, they still seem to have their foot in the door and cause some form of strife among you. A HUGE point made was this, the Bible does NOT say, 'RESOLVE' but to 'RECONCILE'. Wow. I can hear my father now, 'We all just need to work things out, talk about it, resolve the issues.' Well, I knew I was always right when I told him that was impossible. We shouldn't use the Bible as an excuse to not talk to people but Reconciliation means to simply 'LET GO'. Believe me, this was AMAZING to be reassured in and knowing I was doing the best I can. Praise Jesus. My thought is this, 'why would I want to be associated with people that were predestined to cause war in my life? I will reconcile and love but I have no problem being a stranger'.Amen.

             The mission of Jesus was and is to bring peace, not war.